Finding a good Nigerian man

15Jan08

I won’t lie: you are going to hear a lot about this topic if you choose to stay around.

Because I live in Canada, and not in a part that has a lot of Naija men, my friends have asked me over and over again why I think I’m going to marry a Nigerian. I have the same answer for them: I don’t know, but I always imagined that I would. Want to hear more about what I hoped for? In my dreams I’d meet someone who had lived in Nigeria longer than I, perhaps even gone to highschool there, or done a college/university degree there. The reason this is important is so that when I go to Nigeria to visit, I could go with someone who knows their way around. I see this boyfriend/husband of mine helping me increase my knowledge of Nigeria, laughing or mocking my mispronunciations of words and correcting me when needed. (This might be a good time to mention that I grew up reading fairytales and reading romance novels).

My Nigerian heritage is very important to me, and although my parents had all their children in North America, I like that all of our names are Yoruba. It is my hope that when I have children, I am able to give them good Nigerian names so they never forget where they came from.

But enough about my non-existent children, since my husband is nowhere to be found (yet). The question is where does a girl who lives in oyinbo-ville meet a Nigerian man?

Church
I’ve been told to look at church, but I don’t go to a Nigerian church (ie Redeemed Church of God), and I can’t justify leaving the church I’ve attended for most of my life because of a guy who may or may not be waiting for me there. I don’t think God would like my motives.

Online dating
Everyone’s doing it right? Well I gave in and I actually signed up on a site that catered to Nigerians in 2006 or early 2007 and I was not impressed. First off, the site design was horrible and looked like it was made my a child. I mean seriously: why would a Nigerian dating site be pink and purple with cutesy happy faces? God help us!

Despite indicating very clearly that I was interested in meeting Nigerian males (it was a dating site for Nigerians specifically) who lived in North America or the UK, I was contacted by guys from all over the world, with 95% of them living in Nigeria. When I very firmly told them that I was interested in meeting Nigerians in North America, they would tell me that they are planning to move to Canada very shortly. Rude Naija girl that I am, I told them to call me when they get here. I didn’t last much longer on the site after that, and I haven’t found a good site since.

I did meet a Naija guy from that site, one that lived in my city but that is a story for another day. Needless to say we never went beyond a two meetings.

Online forums
Not to be confused with a dating site, forums give you a chance to chat with people who have similar interests, or who are brought together by a common bond. I am only a member of one Nigerian forum at the moment but I know of TalkNaija, NaijaRyders, Nairaland and NaijaYouth.

Forums are full of drama, especially the ones with a younger age group, but I think it’s also possible to meet someone interesting on there. I haven’t really explored this much, mostly because the guys around my age on forums are usually already married or dating, and the unmarried ones are young, immature or both. Perhaps it’s time to start looking for a new forum.

Oya, help a sister out. Where can I meet a good Naija man?

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10 Responses to “Finding a good Nigerian man”

  1. 1 felix

    I think one can find a suitable partner in your vey own church, you don’t have to go that far.

  2. 2 jossy

    another forum you should know about is http://www.joscityweb.com

  3. Gosh, I wished you lived in the United States, my sisters husbands have so many fuiine friends that meet your criteria. They’ve tried to set me up a time or two, but as it stands I’m too “American” for these men. Their loss.

    As you can see, I’m having a ball reading your archives. Wish you were closer, I’d definitely invite you out for a drink.

  4. 5 Malik

    One thing i like about forums is that it allows Nigerians that are leaving abroad to communicate/debate issues with people back in Nigeria. To add to your example, i would say http://www.nigeriansummit.com is another good place that i find this kind of discussion going on.

  5. 6 gidigirl

    My dear, you are not the only one having problems meeting Naija men ‘aborad’. I live in the UK and have been single for over 5 years now after having lived with my ‘soulmate’ for over 10 years. That’s a story for another day. Needless to say, he’s married with a child and one in the oven. Me? Still single and please don’t tell me I am being too picky. Done the internet thing. I mean where do these losers come from? they can’t spell, they’ve no personlaity to speak of and they can’t be bothered to load their pictures, while salivating over mine. Forget church. The drama is too much and besides, don’t do church. I know, a bit strange for a Naija women, but hey, to each her own. So please O, eyin ore, ni bo ni mo ti le pade okurin ti o ni lari? In other words HELP!!!

  6. to really find what your looking for.be yourself and dont let money be involve,and whoever yor chating with make sure his on webcam cause their is som much scam in the air.truely we have people with good intention but most people are hungry,just wish people can be themself and give chance to people who are really intrested in dating for real.cause am tired of trying to be nice and people call you all sort of name wen they esr yor a nigerian.

  7. 8 dragon

    if you guys in USA and UK are complaining what will people in Australia be doing…….

  8. 9 Lola

    I am in the same predicament. I don’t really care if I get married before any particular age, I just want to be married to a good, honest, Nigerian man.
    However, that seems to be more and more impossible to find.
    If you look in the church, you get hypocrites.
    If you look online, you get 419ers.
    If you ask family members, you get the sons of doctors, lawyers or politicians whom almost always end up being selfish, entitled, immature brats.
    If you go to Naija parties, you meet the “area” boys that were lucky enough to lie and cheat their way across the ocean to get to America and now they are looking for the idiot that will marry them and give them papers.
    If you do nothing, you stay alone.

    Ho-hum…..what’s a girl to do?!!?!???!?!?

    • 10 SEGUN

      Lola, there are still Christian Men who are trust worthy. Everybody is thinking there is nobody. But if we put our trust in the Lord, He will make it happen in His own time. would like to share with you. feel free to mail me on publiccommunications@yahoo.com
      Thanks



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