The men I never dated – back in the days of msn chat (Part II)


Thanks for coming back! Here’s Part II of the story started here:

Obi continued to call and we had some good conversations. He was thinking of moving to my city after school was finished and he was coming down to look at apartments a few months later, in April, and we agreed to meet up for a date then. Since I was in school, the time flew by for me, and the fact that we talked almost every day made it seem like he was around. Finally it was time for him to visit. I had an exam coming up on the Monday but the boy took precedence: I couldn’t study and I spent a lot of time calling my friends and consulting my sister for what I should wear for our date.

He called when he arrived in town and we arranged a date and time to meet. He called later to say that Chinonzo wasn’t home, and he hadn’t left him with a key so he would have to stay until Chinonzo returned home. I understood and I patiently waited at our meeting place, calling my family to let them know what was going on. After I waited for well over two hours, he called to say that his friend was back and he wasn’t sure he wanted to come to where I was anymore because he was unfamiliar with the buses and it was dark and did I want to come to his friend’s place?

Now, you might already be shaking your head that I waited so long for him to meet up with me but trust me: I hadn’t gone completely insane for the man. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I truly did understand that he couldn’t have left the door of his friend’s house unlocked and they didn’t think of the fact that Obi might need a key. Innocent mistake. But surely after making me wait for hours he would get his butt on the bus and come and meet me? Surely that’s the least I could have expected? And on top of it, Chinonzo had some people over so it’s not like we would have had much time alone at this party to talk in person after not seeing each other for three months, to see if we click in person. I told him I wasn’t going to Chinonzo’s house, that I was going home and we could talk later.

I was not impressed.

We were supposed to meet on a Saturday. Sunday went by and he didn’t call. He returned home and that’s when we finally talked. We both explained how we interpreted the situation and I guess we agreed to give our “not quite relationship” another try. We continued to talk and email each other. Friends of mine announced their engagement and subsequent wedding, and I invited Obi to go as my date. He agreed. I was so excited. I brought up the wedding every now and then. We learned more about each other.

Then one day, about a month and a half before the wedding, he told me he was going to Nigeria to visit family. When I asked him when he would be in Nigeria, he told me, and those dates completely overlapped with the day of the wedding! I was crushed, and asked him if that meant he would be missing the wedding (I know: duh!). He said yes.

Things were never the same after that. When he returned from Naija, I emailed him to ask if he was back and whether he had had a good time. He responded that he had but I had a feeling that I was the one who was keeping the conversation going in subsequent emails. I think I let his good looks get to me. A few months later I wrote him and asked how he was doing, whether he moved to the big city as he had planned and got a good job and he replied and told me he did. Then he added the words that made me realize that if I don’t get over him, I’d only be doing myself harm because he sure wasn’t pining for me: “I think about you occasionally.” Ouch! Occasionally? Who on earth wants to settle for that after having months of phone messages that say “Hi GoodNaijaGirl, I’m calling because I was thinking aboutchu”? Not I!

I got the message and didn’t email him again after that. But guess what I did after I wrote the above? I checked to see if he was on facebook.

Apparently all it takes is a pretty face and physique to turn my head!

5 Responses to “The men I never dated – back in the days of msn chat (Part II)”

  1. Men it definently wasnt meant to be!

  2. Well better unturn ur head for ur own good…

    Don’t like relationships that require too much effort.
    It was either meant to be or wasn’t….

  3. 3 Oya

    yup, I agree with the other ladies.

  4. lol Doesn’t that always hurt? Pretty face, but nothing interesting to keep the relationship going?

  5. First off I cannot stand that you project your self image when you meet guys. Judging from your posts, you are one hell of a girl, show that that side not the insecurities you have about your weight. You might not know you are doing it, but you are, hence my frustration. (I just want to shake you…!!)

    And the guy is a complete idiot. His doggon loss!!!

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