Where to meet Nigerian men

11Mar08

I haven’t tried any of these places but I’m thinking they might be worth looking into:

Church
I don’t go to a church that’s known for its Nigerian population (Redeemed is the only one I know of around here) but it’s tempting to look into it. The problem is going to a church to meet men is not an idea I’m comfortable with. My choice of church should be based first and foremost on my beliefs and how likely this church is to meet my spiritual needs rather than the number of men between the ages of 28 and 32, taller than 5’5, with a university education that attend the church.

The big city
I live in Canada in what is called “the nation’s capital” but it is not the biggest city in the country. Toronto is one of Canada’s largest cities and it’s not a surprise that there is a strong Nigerian population there. Now, I have a couple of options: I could go to Toronto to attend specific events that are Naija-focused or I could consider moving there so I can really get involved in the “scene”. With the first option, the problem is that driving, TO is about 4.5 hours away so that isn’t a drive that I would want to be making every weekend (and oh yeah, I don’t have my own car). I could take the bus or the train though. With option B, I’d have to leave my job that I love and my family for what? The possibility of being exposed to more Nigerian men? I’m not sure that’s worth it for me (yet…ask me in a couple of years).

Ask the community
I’m scared to try this because we know how word spreads but I could talk to two women who are like aunts to me and tell them that I am actively looking for a Nigerian man to date. One of these women in particular knows every Nigerian in the city so she would probably be able to give me names or contact info, or pass mine along (what I would prefer). The main problem is obvious: at every event I know other “aunts” would come up to me and either give me tips on how to attract a man (and it would include “lose some flesh” for sure!) or tell me about some guy they know who is looking for a wife and he’s only about 15 years older than me, or he has three children, all that good stuff. No thanks.

Ask the parents
I’ve actually tried this one: I told both parents that I wanted them to help me find a good Nigerian man. Sadly neither parent knows anyone. My mom thinks the best chance I have is to go to Nigeria and meet a guy there. I have some reservations about this plan but I’m not ruling it out completely.

Where would you suggest I look?

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14 Responses to “Where to meet Nigerian men”

  1. 1 Oya

    Please dont go to Naija and look for a man o! unless u plan on staying in Naija. Even the ones with good intentions, when they land here nah oyinbo they go dey look. I’ve heard too much horror stories about this.

  2. 2 Oya

    People in Naija, their perception of America/Canada is warped. So the reality of maybe having to start all over with school or factory job may send them into big shock

  3. 3 Rayo

    I completely agree with everything that Oya said. Definitely don’t go to Nige to find a husband.
    1. Chances are he’s just trying to get papers
    2. Even the girls in Nige are having a hard time finding a good Nigerian guy

    You already know what I would recommend. Go to a place where a lot of Nigerians reside, make friends with them and go out often.

  4. Hi dear, honestly, i have this belief that men will be men regardless. You say a nigerian man but you have to be more specific. Include a man with a good heart, and a man that has the fear of God, which is pretty much the most important part. Now, i can’t really suggest church because we don’t have any in my church either and u’re rite, being spiritually fulfilled is way more important than man, they’ve been trying to send me to redeemed for a while now. With the city, the city is such a big place you will meet all sorts-we don’t want u getting hurt abeg. Community- i like this one better, u’re guaranteed to meet different kinds as well but atleast u can easily weed them out and u can do quick background check by asking people around. Jeez… ask the parents is funny sha, i don’t know if i can trust my folks judgement like that but it’s a good thing-atleast u have their blessing already before you start.

    Anyway,i’m sure you do this already but take it to God in prayer, be specific bout what you want from him, give deadlines if you want, i’ve done it before and i trust God like that… just open yourself to the many opportunities and enjoy…

    Ok, i just gave a long speech, sorry…lol….

  5. 5 Mr C

    Good girl, if you really want to date a Nigerian guy that fits your profile, I think you need to penetrate the active Nigerian community in your area first. Best strategy is get a female Nigerian friend who can introduce you to another (that could introduce you to someone or some long chain like that). I don’t know many Nigerians in Canada, but one thing I have personal experiences on is continuous encounter of the Nigerian community in the most remote of towns.
    The aunts you chatted about, don’t they have daughter you can hang with? That could be good start you know.

  6. 6 nnenna

    i am thinking of going to naija to meet a nigerian man i find it hard to find here because canada doesnt have a lot of choices any suggestions?

    • Hello Nnenna,
      I only want to ask you 3 questions only.
      1. How old are you?
      2. Are you single?
      3. what kind of qualities are you looking for in a Nigerian man?

      If you don’t mind, please send your reply to: blackandproudone@yahoo.com

  7. 8 opeyemi

    hey, it seems a lot of people think ALL nigerian guys are. well, naughty {to put it mildly}. some of us are unbelievably principled and still fun to be with not out of the – my pastor says it the right thing to do – mentality, but out of conscious intellectual reflection…
    don’t give up.
    people like me are also actively searching for good girls and seem to be hitting as many brick walls as my d ladies so if any one has any ideas where men can find GOOD girls i wouldn’t mind some tips…buzz me
    kadejuyigbe228@yahoo.com

  8. 9 michael

    Though naija men are bad, but at the same time those naija men based in europe can also spring up with surprises.But there are some honest nigeran guys.But personally am searching for a good girl that i will share the rest of my life with.www.micjoseee@yahoo.com

  9. 10 Seyi

    In a country were every body both male and female tries as much as possible to make ends meet and also try to cope with numerous extended families,i dont think u should expect something too perfect from it.
    come to think of it i tot they said there is no perfect man or woman

  10. 11 Seyi

    you can meet anyone any where,God is Love and Love Is God

  11. 12 Naija Chap

    Rayo hit the nail on the head above when she said :- “Even the girls in Naija are having a hard time finding a good Nigerian guy”

    She also said “Go to a place where a lot of Nigerians reside, make friends with them and go out often”

    I’ll add that you “Ensure that it is the responsible Naija’s that live in that area and not the Naija chaps who have imported all the worst Naija has to offer with them to the West”

    I think recommendations from close cousins, friends, brothers, sisters etc is a better way to go about it.

    Having said that, don’t be in a hurry to say I do as Marriage is only worth it if you marry your soul mate and getting to meet a true soul mate is not done in a hurry.

    For all you know, your true soul mate may not even be a Nigerian !!!

  12. 13 2bchoopla

    Don’t ask the community. It’ll just become worst if the relationship doesn’t work out. Then if you do find a Naija man (re: your soul mate) in that same community chances are he’ll look at you sideways before making a move. It’s so sad.

  13. 14 Emma

    Hi Guys, love to see sold yuys and solid comments from them.

    Thank you all.



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