Things I have never heard a Naija man say

28Mar08

“Let me cook for you”
Someone please tell me they have had their Naija man cook for them? An entire meal where you did not have to make any of it. Bonus points if he:

  • served the food too
  • tried cooking oyinbo food for you (at your request, or because he knows you like it)
  • cleaned the kitchen (including dishes and pots and pans!) after the meal

“I planned a surprise for you”
This doesn’t include the proposal though! I have heard of some pretty exciting proposals by Naija men but how many women have been surprised by an event or gift that was planned by their boyfriend for either a special occasion (other than a proposal) or “just because”?

“It’s ok if you don’t want to cook or like to cook. I’ll do all the cooking”
I know I’m dreaming with this one but surely there are Naija men out there who are good cooks AND who don’t mind being the main cook in the house? I think I should just give up on finding such a guy.

“Talk to me about your feelings; I really just want to listen to them”
Ok, it’s not only Naija men that are guilty of not uttering these words: oyinbo men don’t always either. I think men in general have this urge to solve problems so they find it frustrating to listen to someone’s complaints and not offer solutions when all I want is somebody to listen to me.

“I too believe in not having sex before marriage! I’m so glad I’ve found you.”
lol, I won’t hold my breath on this one. Granted, none of the guys I’ve ever talked to ever got to the point where such activities would be discussed seriously but that means I’ve still never heard a guy be upfront about his intentions to save sex for marriage. Has anyone dated a guy who stated that was his intention?

Who can prove me wrong on any of these? I hope someone can!

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9 Responses to “Things I have never heard a Naija man say”

  1. 1 Oya

    “Let me cook for you”:
    I’ve had a Naija guy cook for me and serve me the food sef. But this usually only happens during the toasting phase of the relationship.

    “I planned a suprise for you”:
    I think there are many romantic Naija guys out there. I have been suprised quite a few times by my ex. We used to get each other “just because” gifts all the time (I am starting to wonder why I broke up with this guy, hmm)

    “It’s ok if you don’t want to cook or like to cook. I’ll do all the cooking: :
    I doubt you will hear this from any man at all unless he is a chef.

    “Talk to me about your feelings; I really just want to listen to them”:
    umm, I think this depends on the guy and his personality, I don’t think its a Naija trait

    “I too believe in not having sex before marriage! I’m so glad I’ve found you.”:
    Never meet a guy that said this. Lol

  2. I’ve had a naija guy cook for me b4, and he washed and cleaned the kitchen while i ate. He just liked to cook, and he was a neat freak. So, he wasn’t about to leave dirty pots in the sink while he ate. Nothing romantic about that if u ask me. Girls cook for guys all the time, big deal if he decided to do it.

    “It’s ok if you don’t want to cook or like to cook. I’ll do all the cooking”
    This was definitely true for my sister and her ex-husband. She didn’t like cooking, he liked cooking so he did 90% of the cooking. He didn’t mind at all. I was surprised about that one though. He was born and bred in Naija, so go figure.

  3. ok, so i would usually agree with u but on this particular post i have to say such men fully exist.
    The only one is the “It’s ok if you don’t want to cook or like to cook. I’ll do all the cooking” – i doubt if u would ever truly find a full blooded naija man tell you u you don’t have to cook and he’ll do all. I’ve had a guy tell me it’s whoever gets home first but the honest truth is there is an innate role/expectation for us women to fulfil this responsibility. Then again, wait till his “mother” finds out his the one doing the cooking in the house, then comes in things like how you have their son under something even you sef will begin to beg for him to stay out of the kitchen-i’ve seen it happen.

    Oh and “I too believe in not having sex before marriage! I’m so glad I’ve found you.” As unbelieving as it may sound and as much as they may want it, i know for sure these men exist.A couple of years ago when i was much younger and still discovering the power i had as a woman with a body i asked a guy to “do as he pleases with me” and he said “as much as i would love to, it’s a no.” loll…honestly, i was too glad he said that… If he was not married now, maybe i’lld go look for him…lol…

  4. 4 GoodNaijaGirl

    I knew it would be easy to prove me wrong on most of these and I’m glad that it is.

    @ Oya – Ah hah! I need to seek a chef then! And yeah, I threw that last one in for fun!

    @ sting – Ok, but the fact that he’s doing something that he doesn’t usually do makes it special, even if the actual thing being done isn’t that special? Just like it would be special if you did something for him that he usually does for himself or for the two of you, like driving you guys to places, or picking him up from work (hmm, why do both of my examples involve him driving?) or taking out the trash lol. We don’t have to give him a medal or anything but we can appreciate it.

    @ S Chic
    – good points about a lot of guys expecting the woman to do the cooking and if his mom found out he was the main cook…well we don’t want to imagine how that would go down. I can dream though, can’t I?

    I bet if you could find this guy who didn’t want to have sex you would find that his tune has changed anyway…lol…you missed your chance I suspect.

  5. Naija man not believe in sex b4 marriage??? that’ll be the day…I have dated Akwa ibom guys sha…they like to surprise you with a good meal,only problem is the meal is so good u r scared of cooking ur own version…..

  6. This your tongue in cheek blog, na wah oh.
    I can’t resist not responding.

    Cooking is not really a big deal. Its just the time. Once in a while, I’d gladly do that for J.
    I love surprises, and to get them, I give surprises. Always works.
    On all the rest, I accept.
    But hey, thats why we are sooooooooo different from each other. We complement ourselves.
    Except the last.
    I actually told my girl that. No sex until we are together for life. (I dunno why I could not use the word ‘marriage’)
    I’m not saying wether it worked or not.

  7. I have had a 9ja man plan a suprise 4 me without asking. But that no sex thing is totly true, and d cooking, if they cook dy wnt do the cleaning.

  8. 8 sherri

    wrong on all counts babe!
    am dating a man who does all of that and much more and yes, he’s naija.

    given the chance, u’d be amazed what our men are capable of.

    nice blog

  9. The thot (desires) of ladies and the defenses of ’em guys.



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