The art of fronting

09Apr08

I’ve been left out when it comes to learning how to front. Some of you may have fronted once or twice, and could teach me a thing or two so I’m asking you to help me out and answer some questions:

First of all, what does fronting mean (to you)?
Is it different from making shakara? If so, what is shakara? Is there other Naija slang for the same thing that I’m missing out on?

Ok, back to what I’ve observed. I don’t ask guys out but when I am talking to a guy, on phone or online, I don’t wait for an hour or two days before replying so I don’t “look desperate”, and I don’t follow those rules about when to call a guy or email him, or reply to a text message, unless I’m being coached by a friend who tells me what to do so I don’t propose marriage to any guy who says hi to me.

(And I’m still very much single…I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.)

My general philosophy about emails is to respond to them as soon as I get them, otherwise I’m liable to forget them (and there are some people right now wondering why I haven’t responded to their emails after making this statement!). So if you send me an email, chances are good I will respond within two minutes of reading it, with few exceptions. With phone calls, if I see a number on my call display that I recognize, I will pick it up. Until very recently, I picked up the phone, whether I recognized the number or not.

*****
I was talking to my hip friend in MD a couple of weeks ago and she was explaining the situation with a guy may or may not be interested in. They were exchanging emails abi messenger messages and she sent me some of their conversation. I was focused on the dialogue, but she also wanted me to note the time between the conversations: she was replying soon after receiving the message while he was waiting a couple of hours or half a day between. He was playing the “game” and she thought she might be appearing too eager by replying soon after receiving his message and planned to tone it down. I could understand her point but if the goal is to get the guy to ask you out (if he proves worthy!) isn’t it ok to encourage him through things like responding quickly? Guys are generally not that observant: if he’s not checking his email or messenger that often, he probably isn’t even thinking of checking the times and dates replies are posted…is he? And if you front too much, will he take it to mean that you’re not interested?

So, in addition to the questions above, I want to know:
Is fronting an essential part of the dating game that I’m missing out on?
Ladies: do you find men who don’t front more appealing, or do they appear desperate?
Men: do you find women who front an exciting challenge, or assume they aren’t interested in you?

My concern is that sometimes, fronting looks a lot like “I’m not interested”. How do you make sure the right message is sent to the other person?

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7 Responses to “The art of fronting”

  1. Fronting puts the excitement in “chasing.” Lolllll……..(not excessive fronting though). :)

  2. 2 Oya

    ITA. Some men like the chase and may get disinterested if they feel like u are the one chasing them. So u want to show ur interest without appearing too “available”. I don’t know what it is about human nature but being A BIT of a challange always seems attractive to the opposite sex…But there is always an exception to every rule :)

    It be nice not to have to play any games when it comes to dating.

  3. Lol! fronting
    Some men will say this babe 2 dey pose.

    I dont believe in all that ish.
    If I like u, I like u. I’ll call u if u dont call, say i love u even if u dont say it. And if am starting 2 fell like u r not replying my calls or saying d i lv u, I will simply ask you y.

    Fronting is a waste of valuable relationship time. when 2 people should b enjoying a relationship, they go dey denge pose 4 each other. Nonsence, n ingrident.

  4. I feel fronting actually does add a lil fun to the whole dating game if used correctly…I feel the main thrust of fronting is to give conflictin signals like am not interested but keep chasing me…see the truth is, as a guy there’s a certain thrill u feel when u finally bag a lady u’ve had your sights on for awhile….

  5. 5 sting

    I like a guy who doesn’t front cos i don’t like to play games. But the sad truth is that there are some guys who like to play games and if u want to mess with them, u have to play by the rules. If i like a guy, i always let them know if i know they are feeling me. I don’t try to make them think too hard about it. But this has worked against me cos the last guy i was talking to likes to play games. He was all over me until i confirmed that i liked him also, then he started fronting. I hate stuff like that. Someone who used to blow my phone up with calls and texts started acting like i was bothering him whenever i called him. When it got to the point where he would ignore my calls and wait a day to call me back, that’s when i cut him off completely. I don’t have time for games.

  6. Girl I’m over a half a century too old to front. That’s why date older men, I don’t have time for games. Just like you I respond as soon as I read the email and in IM, but If I don’t have time to chat, I’ll also let you know, that way you’re not twiddling your thumbs in between responses.
    I personally hate that and I assume to extend the same courtesy with the person I’m conversing with.

  7. Hmmm,…..varying thots & opinions.

    Be that as it may, while fronting might add a lil fun to the game; it could be dicey at times. How? To play the fronting game, one must be exteremly perceptive of ‘feelings’ if not, one might miss the point at which one ought to hands in (elastic limit). Also, you might hands in too early….thus truncating the fun.

    Head or Tail……if one chooses to front, one should be very perceptive.



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