Rant on: sulking (Naija) men


Good day…why not start the day (or afternoon or evening) off right by doing your good deed of the day? Then come back and read what I have to say about men who sulk.

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Am I the only one who has been blessed to talk to men who have a tendency to be sulky or give guilt trips?

Generally speaking, people who do the whole guilt trip thing get on my nerves. They make me angry and practically dare me to do the opposite of what they want. I hate the fact that they try to guilt trip, thinking I will fall for it.

But with guys it’s even more annoying. I hate to be stereotypical, but that’s not usually the behaviour you expect from a man and there he is trying this guilt trip nonsense. What am I talking about?

When you’re getting to know a guy and you make plans to talk the next day, but not specific plans like “A will call B at 6:47pm” and then they call you they are all “You didn’t call me so I thought I would call you. *insert big sigh*”. If you want to call, great, but please don’t make it seem like I sinned by not calling you!

Or, you’re talking and something important comes up that can’t be ignored and you inform the baby man of this. Instead of saying “Bye, call me when you’re free” they give you a variation of “I guess you don’t have time for me so I’ll talk to you later.” What?? I just explained the situation, can you be gracious and let me go without getting in a “dig”? That latter response will just make me “forget” to call the guy back.

Or what about the guy who makes you practically beg him to find out what is eating him. You feel like the guy in the relationship because you’re constantly asking him what’s wrong (don’t deny that we females have a reputation for not always being forthcoming when we’re mad):

Girl: “How was your day?”
Guy: “Not so great.”
Girl: “Oh no! Kilode?”
Guy: “Nothing, I don’t want to talk about it.”
Girl: “Come on, tell me. Maybe I can help” OR “Ok, well I’m here for you to listen to you or talk if you want to anytime.”
Guy: “Ok. Well how was your day?”
Girl: “Pretty good.”

You start talking about your day and he either is clearly not listening or everything you say is met with a big sigh. You try to get off the phone with him and he tells you that he wants to talk to you. You ask him again what is wrong and he refuses to tell you, but then he also isn’t actually interested in the conversation you’re making. At this point I’ll usually just make an excuse to get off the phone because it’s just too irritating to go through that.

I also find the following questions/requests annoying from guys that I’m just getting to know:
Dream of me/Did you dream of me?
It’s kind of cheesy, one, and I’m not going to admit it to someone I’m just getting to know yet (shey this is fronting?). And if I hardly know the guy, chances are I’m not dreaming about him…yet.

Did you tell your family/friends about me?
Um, if we’re in the “getting to know you stage”, probably not. I don’t want to get their hopes up before I find out if you’re a correct guy or not.

Are there any other guilt trip scenarios or sulky behaviour moves that should be mentioned?


12 Responses to “Rant on: sulking (Naija) men”

  1. Girl i FEEL you on this big time!its like i wrote thispost my self..did u dream of me ko!nonsense

  2. 2 Oya

    I can’t stand men that sulk! I wish they knew how much of a turn off it is! I was talking to this guy once and mehn he acted like such a “woman”. Any small thing he will vex and be holding face for me. Can you imagine?

  3. hahaha…i’m afraid to comment on this post…but i totally agree with u sha…

    Iactually have a guy friend that whines more than any female i know and is pretty dramatic with it too…as in if his back is hurting, if he cuts himself…he would actually call me to whine and drag his voice on the phone or when he complains about how tired he his…some things should be left for we females abi? lol

    that dream one…jeez…u know i did a post bout that sometime…that’s absolutely annoying unless if it’s coming from someone i’m already involved with sha…

    But really, i think our responses to those situations depends on how we feel bout the person. If we’re not much interested i think our patience is a bit thin, but if we were deep “in-love”, we would be concerned sha…abi it’s just me?

  4. 4 GoodNaijaGirl

    @pink-satin – thanks o!

    @Oya – I can’t imagine and I have no patience for it. There’s only room for woman in my relationships and it had better be me!

    @S Chic – Oh, that’s something I can say that all men do: when they’re hurt or sick, they will complain as if they’re the first man ever to get sick. A cold is suddenly supposed to be treated like they’re dying of the bubonic plague! Nonsense!

    Well, I think you’re sort of right: if the bobo is hurt or sick and we are “in love” we’re more likely to say “Oh, baby, pele, kilode” etc. However, whether I’m married to him or just getting to know him, if he’s always carrying on like a woman because I didn’t call him, I’ll be turned off so fast!

  5. The guy or guys are just borderline wimpy a.k.a retarded. I don’t like anyone who does stuff like that, and i can’t stand guys who do that. What’s the point of all the guilt trips?

    I esp hate the “did u dream of me?” question. How cheesy is that?

  6. lol

    of course i’ve been in all situations. i’ve also learnt not 2 get too upset by it (only if it’s not a constant) if it’s a once in a while thing, no wahala dia. but his normal self? nah. i dey waka). whinners r boring

  7. Lol!

    Its reli annoying when men sulk n whine.
    I agree with F-F F if its not a constant then its ok.

    “Did u tel ur fam bout me???” 4 why, who u b?

  8. 8 Yosh

    hahahaha, that’s so funny. “Did you dream of me?” Like, “hell naw I didn’t dream of u. U don’t wanna know what’d happen if I dream of YOU!” Not being mean or anything…LOL. But yeah, I get what u mean. Like why’d I dream of u when we don’t really share anything in common, per se?

  9. 9 sherri

    i have zero tolerance for whiners!
    one of my best buds is the most annoying whiner!and he get angry whenever, i ask him, “would u like some cheese with that whine?

  10. I have a scenerio alright. Check this out. My mom once tried to set me up with a family’s friend’s son who lived in Nigeria. She sent him my email address and told him to contact me via email. Mind you, I knew this guy was going to email me, I was expecting it. His first email to me read:

    Hmmm, is your name Abbie?? Sounds familiar? Have we met before??? **perfectly arched raised eyebrow*** Was this dude kiddng me???

    Needless to say I never responded. How cheesy was that???

  11. Good one. I get it loud and clear!

  12. 12 SS

    I agree with all of you. I have a husband who ahs been sulking for the last two day and no amount of asking “baby are you fine” Is something the matter ” is getting me anywhere …finally my patience is at its edge…now he has gone off to sleep and wont even talk about whatever it is that is bothering him…god damn there is only place for one woman in this relationship and it sure as hell isnt him.
    But what i hate about a sulk is when you dont know the reasona nd you have to keep walking on egg shells around him because really dont want to set it off.

    Why cant men just be rational and talk about things instead of bringing the gloom and doom to the whole house…yes yes thats the ned of my rant I just ahd to get it out…lol

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